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Showing posts from 2017

Love

Hold her hand Kiss his cheeks Hug him Kiss her Make sure she is loved Make sure he knows Cause one day when they are gone All you will feel is empty Emptyy

Perspective

I want perspective I want to be able to look at this guy  I want to be able to not be in love with him From his perspective I'm his chubby best friend Friend actually Not even best I'm the person he goes to  When he has no one else When he's alone and needs to rant I rant too But My rants seem pointless Seem unworthy I make sure he feels better He just makes me feel guilty for opening up I love him That's where the problem started As usual your broken  hearted loser blog writer

Chester Bennington

My heart is heavy. There is one less angel on this planet You changed my life. This socially awkward freak always found comfort in your words and voice I'm sorry you were sad I'm sorry this world keeps disappointing the good people "This world was never meant for One as beautiful as you  Now I think I know What you tried to say to me And how you suffered for your sanity And how you tried to set them free They would not listen, they're not listening still Perhaps they never will" We will always love you <3

Selena Gomez

Dear Selena, You will probably never read this. But still I want to put it out there in the world. I'm honestly very thankful for you. I know the haters always have something negative to say and at times you will always feel like the world wants to get you down but you are a queen. Too pure and beautiful for this world and it's negativity. I assume you miss Demi. I'm not going to lie I miss your friendship. But we all have friends who at one point we told everything to that we don't talk to anymore. We all miss them. We want them to succeed. I know you want that too. I know some days you miss her when you realized a few things only she would ever find funny and nobody else. It's an inside joke only both of you would understand.  But life moves on. And so have you. You and your boyfriend are very cute. I hope he treats you right. I hope hes the kind of boyfriend you can count on. Even when's hes on tour he makes sure to check up on you. Make sure you'

Happy

I started this blog as a 12 year old with problems. At first I posted sad and brooding messages about life. As I grew up it just got worse. I just felt empty. I still do. But the difference is this time I'm trying to be happy. I turned 18 recently and for the first time in a long time I feel something close to happiness. I feel at ease. I still doubt myself and I hate myself on most days. But I'm trying very hard to be happy. But I feel better sometimes and lighter. The weight on my back seems to get less everyday.It's not a major change. But it is helping. I have let go of all the toxic people in my life. I have let go of a lot of things that harm me I am trying to loose weight I am working on bettering myself I am trying to be happy. I really am

13 Reasons to stay alive

We all have been watching that show. And suddenly you must have seen people started admitting they need help or people offering help or as usual the world around you is just turning as normal. But I want you to know wherever you are. Whatever you are experiencing. It does get better It really does. I may not be living proof. Honestly I'm the last person who should be giving advice. But I'm fighting every single day. And you should too. Don't give up not just yet. Never National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Call "1-800-273-8255"' USE THIS. PLEASE  As for the misleading title you don't need 13 reasons to stay alive. You just need to hear this. You matter. You really do. You will always matter

In a Different World

In a different world I wouldn't be hurting you In a different world We would have perfect communication In a different world It would be easier I wouldn't be a bitch with no tact In a different world I would be in Riverdale Sitting with Jughead as he rescued me from the world In a different world I could tell you I love you <3 In a different world We'd be the perfect couple

Send my love to your new lover

Here we are again Me writing on a blog About how you don't talk to me again Because I can't say to your face You and her seemed so happy I had to let you go It's so awkward between us You must think I'm a bitch I screwed this up I screwed this up so badly No one to blame but me So send my love to her She deserves you more than I ever did And be happy with her Because this time I have decided to let you go Happy Anniversary love </3 I hope I can finally move on

You and I

We are from two different worlds You and I You like pretty boys I like pretty girls You like mornings And beginnings I like the dark of the night And the ending is what excites me You like darker colors that make you look so pretty I like lighter colors that makes Everything seem softer Makes the world seem like a happier place You like order You are the most organised person I know Then there's me who is so messy That it's a wonder I don't get lost I hate being prim and proper But you love it You love parties and just dancing the night away But I love being in the background Dancing when I'm alone And just being in the shadows We are so different Yet so similar We both are insecure We protective of the people we love It's takes us long to trust a person We have had our heart broken so many times But we are fighters But there's one things that makes us different There's one thing that makes You and I different is I'

Dear Ex-bestfriend #3

Hey You So here we are. It's been a long time. I miss you so much. I'm such an idiot I fell in love with you. You were first person who ever knew about my sexuality. I told everyone about how I was madly in love with you. Because I thought the more I got it out of my system the less it will hurt to see you with him. But it never got easy.I just fell more and more in love with you. It hurt me so much. You were a saint. You set me up on dates and encouraged me to flirt and find the perfect girl. But all the time the only person I thought was close to perfect was you. Why was I so stupid that I genuinely believed that it was okay to keep it a secret? How did it never occur to me that it would come back to bite me in the face? I was so in love that I was so blind to the fact that you were looking at me with utter pity and a little sadness. When I suddenly saw the look in your eyes then I realised you knew. You knew the truth. And there it was.  That was the end. I lost my c

Dear Ex-best friend #2

Dear Ex-Best friend Hey you! Miss me yet? Cause damn I miss you. Today you posted that picture with your new best friend and I felt emptiness. You broke up with Richard, Tina told me. I almost called you. But as you said you don't need me. You never did. But you still read my blog you old softy. You still like my instagrmas. You still follow my tumblr. Yet Even you seem to sense that if become friends again there will always be that distance between us. We are not the same anymore and we will never be. You once told me I was your first best friend. And what I didn't tell you was you were the only friends I could trust. I miss you so much. Today it was quite awkward when I saw you in the hallway as we just nodded to each other, it just confirmed what I already felt that there's no going back from this. We had ruined everything between us. How did this start? What happened to us? Why are we here in the first place? You are supposed to be the Christina to my Mer

Dear EX best friend

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I just really need you right now. And I miss you. And I  know don't mean anything to you. Though you used to say otherwise. I'm sorry I failed you as a friend. I'm sorry I didn't fight enough. But people say I did.  I used to worry about you and try to make sure your happy. But you know what hurts the most is not the fights and the fact that we may never make up again but rather is the fact that I and you will never have the same dynamic ever again even if we make up. We will never have our weird inside jokes no body understood. We will never have those secrets only both of us knew about. We will never ever be the same. And that what hurts the most. The fact that my instinct to tell you gossip or something great that happened to me or to bitch or just to talk will soon fade away. The fact that my phone won't be filled with our pics and the random memes we send to each other. These facts bring me sadness. And I need a hug and I need ice cream. And comfort. B

I don't want to be figured out

You ask me things about me Which I don't want to share Cause I hide this secret A cross I bear And if you try to figure me out I have to tell you the secret Then you won't like me anymore You'll see my dark side Run for the hills And I won't hear from you again The sad part is I want to bear my soul to you But I'm scared The secret is not collection of memes Or a history of alcohol and drugs But it's a dark secret I have to keep For the rest of my days I have walls to keep you safe So please don't try to figure me out 

Dear Toxic Friend

Dear Toxic Friend, Why can't I quit you? People seem to only believe only romantic  relationships are toxic. But you and I know better dont we? We are toxic. Nowdays I get up wondering if you are going to talk to me today. I'm always worried about you and your needs.  I say you are my best friend but you never say I'm yours. I am obessed with making you happy. I have lost myself. But I cant quit you. I need you to talk to me and tell me your opinions. I don't think you  know when my birthday is. I defend you behind your back. Do you? In a day the lesser times you talk to me, the crappier the day goes. I know more about your crushes than mine. Why do I care  so much about you? I want you to be happy all the time. You can hug everyone and tell them you love them. But for me the word doesn't even come out of your mouth, Do I mean that little to you? Does it bother you at all if I don't show up? Do you care even in the slighest? Why a