A Colored Girl's opinions

 I have spoken about this a lot. This topic has always made a little like the trolls I hate. But its not fair. And I say this as a fan not a struggling Youtuber. I have noticed a pattern  Person appears in video People likes said person Jokes he/she should start channel Person starts appearing more frequently Suddenly SURPRISE SURPRISE the person now has a channel And THE PERSON HAS 100K subs on the first day THE FIRST DAY THE FIRST DAY It just annoys me. That they get so many benefits. What I want to know is would people even subscribe to them if they didn't know them before hand. Their content can be good. But is it worth 100,00 subs in a day. Is it? It is annoying because most of the people just see it as fast money but not cause they really care. They are very few people I know who do. 

Have you ever had a friend that worries you? The kind that goes off the radar. Every 6 months they come back into your life and when you are used to them texting you everyday and then suddenly one fine day poof. I miss that person so much But I can't contact them because something happened and they shut me out. And it's not their fault. It's mine. I am so happy when they are happy I forget to remind myself. That they are not always Happy. Happiness is not an emotion but a lease with a short time period. I am a horrible friend. They need me and all I can do is sit and write a blog. But I dont know what to  do. I'm not a trained professional. Nor do they want to see a trained professional. I feel like they are always there for me.  But I don't how to help them.. Everything I say seems cheesy and non helpful I say " It's going to be okay" But in my head I sound like every tumblr post that mocks my friend's struggle. I feel useless...

Hold her hand Kiss his cheeks Hug him Kiss her Make sure she is loved Make sure he knows Cause one day when they are gone All you will feel is empty Emptyy

I want perspective I want to be able to look at this guy  I want to be able to not be in love with him From his perspective I'm his chubby best friend Friend actually Not even best I'm the person he goes to  When he has no one else When he's alone and needs to rant I rant too But My rants seem pointless Seem unworthy I make sure he feels better He just makes me feel guilty for opening up I love him That's where the problem started As usual your broken  hearted loser blog writer

My heart is heavy. There is one less angel on this planet You changed my life. This socially awkward freak always found comfort in your words and voice I'm sorry you were sad I'm sorry this world keeps disappointing the good people "This world was never meant for One as beautiful as you  Now I think I know What you tried to say to me And how you suffered for your sanity And how you tried to set them free They would not listen, they're not listening still Perhaps they never will" We will always love you <3

Dear Selena, You will probably never read this. But still I want to put it out there in the world. I'm honestly very thankful for you. I know the haters always have something negative to say and at times you will always feel like the world wants to get you down but you are a queen. Too pure and beautiful for this world and it's negativity. I assume you miss Demi. I'm not going to lie I miss your friendship. But we all have friends who at one point we told everything to that we don't talk to anymore. We all miss them. We want them to succeed. I know you want that too. I know some days you miss her when you realized a few things only she would ever find funny and nobody else. It's an inside joke only both of you would understand.  But life moves on. And so have you. You and your boyfriend are very cute. I hope he treats you right. I hope hes the kind of boyfriend you can count on. Even when's hes on tour he makes sure to check up on you. Make sure you...

I started this blog as a 12 year old with problems. At first I posted sad and brooding messages about life. As I grew up it just got worse. I just felt empty. I still do. But the difference is this time I'm trying to be happy. I turned 18 recently and for the first time in a long time I feel something close to happiness. I feel at ease. I still doubt myself and I hate myself on most days. But I'm trying very hard to be happy. But I feel better sometimes and lighter. The weight on my back seems to get less everyday.It's not a major change. But it is helping. I have let go of all the toxic people in my life. I have let go of a lot of things that harm me I am trying to loose weight I am working on bettering myself I am trying to be happy. I really am