A Colored Girl's opinions

When I was small, making friends was one of the easiest things to do. My mom sent me out and they asked me if I wanted to play and I said yes and it was meant to be. Adult interactions on the other hand is so annoying. I am currently at a family reunion of my cousins and I don't know any of these cousins. As you all know I am back on this blog cause I am sad and my family wanting to cheer me up sent me to this to have with my cousins and theirs. But oh wait I am fat and that seems to be a problem for everyone. My food quantity is being judged, my body type seems to be an issue and oh my favorite I have to interact with human beings who are so reluctant to interact with me. Why do I put up with this you ask? Because my anxious introverted self seeks validation lol For anyone who has ever been the situation, I have come up with a few ways to help you interact with people who aren't necessarily bad but are just not interested in who you are as a human being. Rule no

Shocker. I am having a crisis Back when I ended this blog I was very determined not to come back. And I kept my word for a whole year. But my situation has changed. I need this to be my outlet. I realized writing about my feelings did help me.It gave me perspective and the chance to say things  I maybe shouldn't in person. I also made an Instagram to have political outlet. It's called @acoloregirlsramblings if you want to follow. You know the Judge from The Good Place saying the Earth is a mess y'all is the biggest understatement of the century. My country is a mess. Australia is burning and Indonesia is flooding. Let's not forget one of the most powerful countries would rather spend 2 trillion dollars to get military power rather than give Flint cleaner water, help the homeless or improve the fucking joke of a healthcare system. And to be honest my personal life is a mess too. Most Days I get up not ready for the world. I am tired and exhausted. I fight at h

I started this blog so long back. When it first premiered it was this ballsy step I had taken. I wrote about my sorrow and heartache which as a teenager seemed like the end of the world. But recently seems like a memory I rather leave behind with the end of my teen years. This blog started from an obsession to a annoyance to write to something I forgot I had. When I was younger it was such a part of my personality that I had written about it in various college essays. I feel like now is the time to say goodbye. This may not be permanent. Knowing me the minute my heart breaks I'm might be right here where I started trying to heal by writing my feelings to various strangers from websites I hope aren't scandalous. From badly written poems to grammatical errors I still correct thanks for always reading my words. Even if it was a random find or a way to laugh or mock or relive with me. It's nice that someone out there had read this. This was more for me than anyone else

I have this habit of re watching old sitcoms whenever I see memes based on it or read something interesting for example Full house or my all time favorite Fresh prince of bel Air. So when I watched one of the SATC movies I realized how I perceived the characters was only based on the movies. And had no idea who Aidan was and didn't really understand most of references. So I decided to watch the series and what I realized was I HATED IT. The premise is quite bold for a 90s sitcom. But the characters. Miranda is the only character that doesn't make me want to scream. Carrie is everyone's best friend. And that's not possible. Sam,Miranda and Charlotte seem to have no rapport except during banter when they meet. No friendship. They are never portrayed to hang out or even have a relationship unless the episode demands it. In a time where we need to prove women have to stick together. The show seems to come in rather poor taste. Also don't get me started on the

I have a pattern. Every time I am falling down a spiral, I write this stupid blog. It's like an addiction I can't remember a time when I didn't have this blog to rant through a shitty arrangement of words. I'm in that phase of my life where I have to take a major life decision. As a girl who is just starting out my adult life and has made 4 life changing decisions already. I want the world to have the courtesy to stop. And just freeze. Every where I go I have the words marriage, career, babies and future thrown at me. People in uni already know if they want to get married and have babies and have the job of their dreams and then there's me who celebrated making a meal that didn't come out of a box. I wanted to take a gap year but how dare I spend time on trying to figure myself out and trying to understand who I am as a person. But instead I forced on the rat race I call life where I'll have to work till I die. And the one day I will cease to exist

I was watching one tree hill the other day. And I was watching the episode where Keith shows Lucas how every little thing he had done even though it wasn't major to him at the time. It changed the way I viewed the world. I recently lost a friend/ acquaintance who was murdered. I won't get into too many details. But it has really affected me. Even though they weren't really a part of my life. But I remember clear as day this one day she sat in the bus alone along with me. And I wonder if I just said hi and made conversation maybe it would have been different. I have recently going back to various points in my life. Looking back whether if I acted differently or said something else if I would be where I was now. And if it did change something, would I change it? It bugs me. It has been keeping me up at night. Did it even matter? Did I help someone or Did I tear someone apart? Am I the nice person I claim to be? Lately I don't think I am. I don't think