The Little Things

I was watching one tree hill the other day. And I was watching the episode where Keith shows Lucas how every little thing he had done even though it wasn't major to him at the time. It changed the way I viewed the world.

I recently lost a friend/ acquaintance who was murdered. I won't get into too many details. But it has really affected me. Even though they weren't really a part of my life. But I remember clear as day this one day she sat in the bus alone along with me. And I wonder if I just said hi and made conversation maybe it would have been different.

I have recently going back to various points in my life. Looking back whether if I acted differently or said something else if I would be where I was now. And if it did change something, would I change it?

It bugs me.

It has been keeping me up at night.

Did it even matter?

Did I help someone or Did I tear someone apart?

Am I the nice person I claim to be? Lately I don't think I am.

I don't think I am happy.

That's why I'm back on the blog. Because I'm not happy.

The little things do matter.