A Colored Girl's opinions

I started this blog as a 12 year old with problems. At first I posted sad and brooding messages about life. As I grew up it just got worse. I just felt empty. I still do. But the difference is this time I'm trying to be happy. I turned 18 recently and for the first time in a long time I feel something close to happiness. I feel at ease. I still doubt myself and I hate myself on most days. But I'm trying very hard to be happy. But I feel better sometimes and lighter. The weight on my back seems to get less everyday.It's not a major change. But it is helping. I have let go of all the toxic people in my life. I have let go of a lot of things that harm me I am trying to loose weight I am working on bettering myself I am trying to be happy. I really am

We all have been watching that show. And suddenly you must have seen people started admitting they need help or people offering help or as usual the world around you is just turning as normal. But I want you to know wherever you are. Whatever you are experiencing. It does get better It really does. I may not be living proof. Honestly I'm the last person who should be giving advice. But I'm fighting every single day. And you should too. Don't give up not just yet. Never National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Call "1-800-273-8255"' USE THIS. PLEASE  As for the misleading title you don't need 13 reasons to stay alive. You just need to hear this. You matter. You really do. You will always matter

In a different world I wouldn't be hurting you In a different world We would have perfect communication In a different world It would be easier I wouldn't be a bitch with no tact In a different world I would be in Riverdale Sitting with Jughead as he rescued me from the world In a different world I could tell you I love you <3 In a different world We'd be the perfect couple

Here we are again Me writing on a blog About how you don't talk to me again Because I can't say to your face You and her seemed so happy I had to let you go It's so awkward between us You must think I'm a bitch I screwed this up I screwed this up so badly No one to blame but me So send my love to her She deserves you more than I ever did And be happy with her Because this time I have decided to let you go Happy Anniversary love </3 I hope I can finally move on

We are from two different worlds You and I You like pretty boys I like pretty girls You like mornings And beginnings I like the dark of the night And the ending is what excites me You like darker colors that make you look so pretty I like lighter colors that makes Everything seem softer Makes the world seem like a happier place You like order You are the most organised person I know Then there's me who is so messy That it's a wonder I don't get lost I hate being prim and proper But you love it You love parties and just dancing the night away But I love being in the background Dancing when I'm alone And just being in the shadows We are so different Yet so similar We both are insecure We protective of the people we love It's takes us long to trust a person We have had our heart broken so many times But we are fighters But there's one things that makes us different There's one thing that makes You and I different is I...

Hey You So here we are. It's been a long time. I miss you so much. I'm such an idiot I fell in love with you. You were first person who ever knew about my sexuality. I told everyone about how I was madly in love with you. Because I thought the more I got it out of my system the less it will hurt to see you with him. But it never got easy.I just fell more and more in love with you. It hurt me so much. You were a saint. You set me up on dates and encouraged me to flirt and find the perfect girl. But all the time the only person I thought was close to perfect was you. Why was I so stupid that I genuinely believed that it was okay to keep it a secret? How did it never occur to me that it would come back to bite me in the face? I was so in love that I was so blind to the fact that you were looking at me with utter pity and a little sadness. When I suddenly saw the look in your eyes then I realised you knew. You knew the truth. And there it was.  That was the end. I lost my c...

Dear Ex-Best friend Hey you! Miss me yet? Cause damn I miss you. Today you posted that picture with your new best friend and I felt emptiness. You broke up with Richard, Tina told me. I almost called you. But as you said you don't need me. You never did. But you still read my blog you old softy. You still like my instagrmas. You still follow my tumblr. Yet Even you seem to sense that if become friends again there will always be that distance between us. We are not the same anymore and we will never be. You once told me I was your first best friend. And what I didn't tell you was you were the only friends I could trust. I miss you so much. Today it was quite awkward when I saw you in the hallway as we just nodded to each other, it just confirmed what I already felt that there's no going back from this. We had ruined everything between us. How did this start? What happened to us? Why are we here in the first place? You are supposed to be the Christina to my Mer...