A Colored Girl's opinions

Hey You So here we are. It's been a long time. I miss you so much. I'm such an idiot I fell in love with you. You were first person who ever knew about my sexuality. I told everyone about how I was madly in love with you. Because I thought the more I got it out of my system the less it will hurt to see you with him. But it never got easy.I just fell more and more in love with you. It hurt me so much. You were a saint. You set me up on dates and encouraged me to flirt and find the perfect girl. But all the time the only person I thought was close to perfect was you. Why was I so stupid that I genuinely believed that it was okay to keep it a secret? How did it never occur to me that it would come back to bite me in the face? I was so in love that I was so blind to the fact that you were looking at me with utter pity and a little sadness. When I suddenly saw the look in your eyes then I realised you knew. You knew the truth. And there it was.  That was the end. I lost my c...

Dear Ex-Best friend Hey you! Miss me yet? Cause damn I miss you. Today you posted that picture with your new best friend and I felt emptiness. You broke up with Richard, Tina told me. I almost called you. But as you said you don't need me. You never did. But you still read my blog you old softy. You still like my instagrmas. You still follow my tumblr. Yet Even you seem to sense that if become friends again there will always be that distance between us. We are not the same anymore and we will never be. You once told me I was your first best friend. And what I didn't tell you was you were the only friends I could trust. I miss you so much. Today it was quite awkward when I saw you in the hallway as we just nodded to each other, it just confirmed what I already felt that there's no going back from this. We had ruined everything between us. How did this start? What happened to us? Why are we here in the first place? You are supposed to be the Christina to my Mer...

I just really need you right now. And I miss you. And I  know don't mean anything to you. Though you used to say otherwise. I'm sorry I failed you as a friend. I'm sorry I didn't fight enough. But people say I did.  I used to worry about you and try to make sure your happy. But you know what hurts the most is not the fights and the fact that we may never make up again but rather is the fact that I and you will never have the same dynamic ever again even if we make up. We will never have our weird inside jokes no body understood. We will never have those secrets only both of us knew about. We will never ever be the same. And that what hurts the most. The fact that my instinct to tell you gossip or something great that happened to me or to bitch or just to talk will soon fade away. The fact that my phone won't be filled with our pics and the random memes we send to each other. These facts bring me sadness. And I need a hug and I need ice cream. And comfort. B...

You ask me things about me Which I don't want to share Cause I hide this secret A cross I bear And if you try to figure me out I have to tell you the secret Then you won't like me anymore You'll see my dark side Run for the hills And I won't hear from you again The sad part is I want to bear my soul to you But I'm scared The secret is not collection of memes Or a history of alcohol and drugs But it's a dark secret I have to keep For the rest of my days I have walls to keep you safe So please don't try to figure me out 

Dear Toxic Friend, Why can't I quit you? People seem to only believe only romantic  relationships are toxic. But you and I know better dont we? We are toxic. Nowdays I get up wondering if you are going to talk to me today. I'm always worried about you and your needs.  I say you are my best friend but you never say I'm yours. I am obessed with making you happy. I have lost myself. But I cant quit you. I need you to talk to me and tell me your opinions. I don't think you  know when my birthday is. I defend you behind your back. Do you? In a day the lesser times you talk to me, the crappier the day goes. I know more about your crushes than mine. Why do I care  so much about you? I want you to be happy all the time. You can hug everyone and tell them you love them. But for me the word doesn't even come out of your mouth, Do I mean that little to you? Does it bother you at all if I don't show up? Do you care even in the slighest? Why a...