A Colored Girl's opinions

I saw you the other day With your goofy smile and beautiful laugh The way you still read my mind Scares me The way I forgive you so easily Scares me The way I act like a girl in love around you Scares me The way you call me fat and I dive into self hate  Scares me The way I doubt myself around you Scares me But what scares me the most is the fact that I'm still head over heals in love with you after the pain I have suffered.

I know I'm going to get a lot of hate for this. And that maybe reading this some of the YouTubers I like may dislike me but I have to speak my mind. Till today it confuses me how most of the people watching YouTube will just subscribe to their favorite YouTuber's friends . Like  you all know how much I love Joe and Caspar and they are part of this group called buttercream squad. which has Joe Sugg, Caspar Lee,Conor Maynard, Jack Maynard, Oli White,Josh Pieters and Mikey Pearce So Oli, Jack,Joe,Caspar and Conor Maynard  have been doing YouTube for the longest time. Jack may have just started recently but the truth is he has been doing this for a long time. But Josh and Mikey have recently just started and have Youtube and already have 100,000 for subscribers which so unfair to many Youtubers who have been working their asses off to make original and interesting content whereas these two mostly Mikey relies on the presence of their friends to help boost their views